THE THING IN THE SEWER!

From: henry@ <full address withheld by request>
Subject: Thing in the sewer!
Date: November 16th 2004 4:9:40 PM
To: vilewatchers@vilewatch.com

Dear Vilewatchers,

I don’t know if this counts, but everyone in our house is freaked out. If it’s not something to do with your essence of vileness, it’s still very weird and disgusting.

A week ago, we got a blocked pipe in our back garden, where the sewage drains out from the laundry and the loo. The muck was backing up, the toilet bowl wouldn’t empty, etc etc. So we called in a plumber, who turned up after about four days.

He dug down to the inspection cover and put in the electric eel. You know, a rotating head on the end of a tube, powered by a petrol engine from above. So the eel went down into the pipe and whirred through about two metres – then came to a stop. My partner thought she heard a faint shriek and my daughter Tiffany told us afterwards she heard something like a curse in a foreign language. But Tiffany often embellishes the truth.

The plumber pulled up the eel, looked at it, then put it down for another go. This time it went all the way through – but only after a sort of tremor in the ground. We all felt it, even Spiro the plumber.

So the pipe was cleared – but when Spiro pulled out the eel, the head was streaked with red blood. All kinds of other filth and sewage – but definitely blood. Tiffany wanted to call the police, but as Spiro said, it couldn’t have been a human down there, the pipe isn’t that big. Maybe an animal, he said – but what animal would live in the middle of compacted waste and excrement?

Whatever it was, our cat has been sniffing round the earth-covered area ever since, arching her back and hissing. She goes around in circles, but she’ll never go directly above the place where the blockage was.

That’s our story. Make of it what you want.

Henry (surname withheld by request)

(Vilewatchers Note:
Spelling has been improved and obscene language deleted, but nothing in the content of this message has been changed in any way.)

Back to top

Back to/on to the Vile Alerts page

Read major case reports in
Report from Stravignano v Report from St. Benedict's
v Report on Rasterizing v Canberra:The Appalling Truth v The Thing in the Sewer v Perturbed in Uruguay v Viola v Vibrators