VIBRATORS
(another report from Canberra!)

A second letter from Michael Barry, received via Australia post, later on 29th April, 2005.

Mr Smythe,

I never believed your stories were true, until I myself experienced the vile in its most disgusting and pleasurable form. I reside, as you may know, in Canberra, a city known almost as much for its politicians as for its adult entertainment industries—and it is to the latter my story refers.

I had entered one such establishment, purely for the purposes of research, you understand, and was gathering data, whence came a noise from a curtain to the rear of the shop. I worked my way closer—realising, as one does, that the more intriguing research material is often hidden in places least easy of access—and noticed, upon the curtain, various warnings and admonitions as to the dangers to my sensitive faculties.

You realise that I am nothing if not intrepid. However it was with no little concern that I drew aside that drape and thus penetrated the dim cavern beyond.

My fear were well-founded, for the walls were lined with divers forms of “marital aids” (as the Vile does not shrink from sullying, with its euphemisms, that most sacred of earthly bonds) all of which possessed not one but two, three or more great thrusting members standing like a phallus guard about its emperor; and unmanly though it was, I confess that I fell into a dead swoon.

Upon awaking, I found that I had fallen victim to that most disgraceful of devices: the Sickest of Multiple Vibrators!!!!

I remain, &cetera

Michael Barry

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Read major case reports in
Report from Stravignano v Report from St. Benedict's
v Report on Rasterizing v Canberra:The Appalling Truth v The Thing in the Sewer v Perturbed in Uruguay v Viola v Vibrators