On staying young and undefiled

1st letter

Dear Donna,

I was wondering, given the obvious depraved excesses of your lifestyle,
how do you still maintain your girlish complexion and good looks?
 
Keith Stevenson
Editor, Aurealis Magazine

Dear Mr Stevenson,

Yes, people often ask this question. I think it's because I always maintained a girlish heart and true emotional innocence, even when ... well, you don't need to know the details. When little children cluster around my knee, I tell them: the best cosmetics act from within. If your heart is good, your skin will look good too. Conversely, a pimply heart will give you a pimply skin. I like to give my inner emotions a ten-minute work out twice a day. No unnatural medications or expensive equipment, just a soundproof room and assorted everyday household objects. I shall probably be putting my routines on DVD, and I suggest you purchase a copy. As an editor, your heart must be in a very bad way (every rejection produces a pimple, they say). The question is, have you maintained your girlish heart and true emotional innocence?

Here's hoping!
Donna

2nd letter

yer fotos look like an ol moll

I wanna be loik you - norse

Yes, well I'm sure you do. But uncouthness is almost as bad for the heart as being an editor, so I can see you'll be needing a great deal of improvement. For your sake, I hope you're not an editor too.

Disdainfully yours
Donna

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