The Arse in Question

Dear Donna

I'm writing because you, clearly, are an arbiter of all things fashionable and tasteful and, in a previous reply, you put your finger on an issue that's long troubled me. To wit, the arse in history, and the global conspiracy by the fashion industry to cover up its (r)ole. Behind every great man and woman there's, well, a substantial behind, but where's the credit for it, I arsk you?

Without our arses, we're nothing. Did you ever see a politician, a
general, an athlete or an industrialist with a small backside? I think not. And yet the greatest insult a man can give a woman is to answer, grinning,
'Yes, huge,'
to the question,
'Does my bum look big in this?'

Surely, Donna, we should be celebrating our derrieres, not deriding them?

Mr Cheeky

Dear Mr Cheeky,

Darling, You have touched upon a subject that is extremely near and dear to my soul.

The arse, also known as buttocks, back end, gluteus, posterior,
fundament, butt, rump and derriere is a crucial, yet much maligned body part in these mid- naughty noughties. Much of its bad rep comes from over application of MTV in which a relentless parade of arseless teenage girls can be seen to wiggle and strut their artful, yet arseless twig-like frames across the screen. As a result, many young people grow up to become fashion designers having no idea that the arse is actually
a regular appendage of the human form. Thus they set about designing and producing utterly baseless haute couture.

Darlings, We must rebel and get in touch with our inner beauty -- and our outer arses.

Donna

PS -- I must correct one little mistake on your part, Mr Cheeky. It is a well known fact that athletes and other such personages of sport do not possess arses. They are either born without them or else have them lopped off at an early age in order to assist with streamlining and wind resistance.

Dear Donna

Ah, the wind resistance of bottoms.
Why didn't I think of that?

Cheers
Mr C

Dear Mr Cheeky,
 
Clearly your mind is in the clouds, rather than focused on more down to earth, well rounded issues.
 
Donna

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